Sometimes You Just Have to Show Up.

Artist Unknown

It seems lately I’ve been hearing about many relapses. It’s kind of a bummer. People are going to jail. People are falling into old behaviors. I myself felt somewhat triggered this weekend. Now that I’ve worked through it, it seems ridiculous. Right now, at this moment I feel a million miles away from alcohol, drugs, and “the lifestyle”. But for just a moment there, I was back and I wanted it. (It makes me think of that Radiohead song Karma Police; “for a minute there I lost myself...”)

It’s frightening how easy it is, and how common. Maybe it’s something in the air. Or maybe there are always this many relapses going on and I’m just now noticing it. Either way, it reminds me that we can’t let our guard’s down. Addiction is the Enemy, and the Enemy is always looking for a way in.  

That’s why it is all the more important that I stick to my program, and all of you out there stick to your program’s, or plans, or goals, or whatever keeps you on your intended path. (Was that a run-on sentence? Grammar is not my forte).

I’m always looking for motivation and inspiration.  In my travels throughout the Pintrest Universe I stumbled across this quote; 

“Show up. Even when you don’t feel like showing up.” 

-Utpal Vaishnav 

Mr. Vaishnav is some kind of motivational speaker. This quote is really very simple and may not strike one as “profound”, but I think this says it all. Sometimes I don’t feel like being in recovery. I don’t feel like having a program and sticking to it. I don’t feel like engaging in those healthy behaviors that are saving my life. I don’t wanna. 

Sometimes I just have to show up. Put in the work, even if I’m not feeling it, I know my future self will thank me.